Millie Monroe passed away yesterday January 21, 2009 at 5:00. I thought I would be able to help her with ordering herbs and transfer factor and even prayer, but she was in incredible pain. She was dazing off and would silently whimper at times. Doing the research and talking to people this cancer is unbearably painful. Since it was in her lymph nodes it had already spread to her bloodstream. I could have tried codeine, but it would have been more for me than her. It was still a death sentence. I didn’t want her to suffer anymore.
My friend asked if she was bonded to any of my dogs, I said no…she was bonded to me. She was my best-friend. I have never in my life known a love like hers. In spite of what her life was, she never held a grudge, she excepted anyone in her life, although so shy and unsure of new things. I loved coming home to her because she would grab a toy and do a little dance throwing her paws up in the air and tossing the toy. Such a lovely little greeter. At night, she would worm her way up right beside me and just lay on my leg, she always knew she would get a belly rub. She was never a nuisance or naughty. She did love to eat toilet paper, though.
She has confirmed what I knew in my heart about my destiny. I will never stop loving dogs like Millie. Even if it is only one day spent, it is one more day than they would have had. I will still always cry and hurt, but I love them with everything in me and more, especially Millie. I am so honored and grateful to have known such a sweet, beautiful soul. One day we will all be together again.
Rest In Peace, my girl. I love you more than anything in this world. I will meet you in the Heavens.
Being real, though. I care about nothing right now. I am agitated, emotional and empty. I feel like there is nothing left in me to give and yet I know I have to hold it together for my other kids. I see her everywhere. She was my heart. She made me smile and always knew when I needed a hug. I know this event has caused me to reflect on my life. What I want. What makes me happy. Things I need to change. My dogs are my life, they mean more to me than anything. I have to live in today. I have to take care of my kids that need me today. I haven’t even been able to look at them, even though they are trying to comfort me. I feel bad about that, I just wanted to die with Millie. Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow we will walk and get life figured out. But Millie showed me my vision. Thank you for helping me find my way home.
Featuring Millie, Edi, Jack, Sally and many others…