Isn’t it supposed to get better with time. Then why each day do I feel worse? I am trying not to feel defeat. I know that comes when one is trying to feel strong and optimistic, self-sabotage kicks in. I know I just have to push through it. I am starting to take my rescue remedy, I need some type of relief. I still walk the dogs 7 miles a day. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it makes it worse. But again…I have to push through it. I miss her so much I feel psychically sick. I feel guilt of what I could have or should have done. Nothing makes the hurt better. Nothing.
I didn’t get a chance to work on sally’s fundraising stuff. Stress kicked the ulcer’s ass these last few days. I will work on her stuff in the next few days. I am going to try and raise it within a month. Again…I have to do this. No exception. No feeling of defeat before I even begin.                         Â
I just need to stay focused on my goals and see success.
