I haven’t written in a while. maybe I would feel better if I had. maybe today is a good day to start. I moved from los angeles to las vegas, I didn’t want to come. I did, though. I think this is the worst decision I have ever made for me and my family. I can’t get a job, I can’t go outside, so hot and my neighborhood sucks to walk the dogs in, which makes me feel worse, because it is EXTREMELY important for me to exercise my dogs. I can’t even go to a real coffee shop, because all the ones here are starbucks in stripmalls. Everything is in stripmalls. I feel so uninspired, I feel numb. All I wanted was to come here and make a ton of money to buy the farm. That dream doesn’t feel in reach now. I feel so lost. I just want out of this situation.
I didn’t realize how important my environment is, how important it is to have people around me with similar interests. I miss nikki. I miss the rescue. I miss feeling needed.
I haven’t unboxed anything yet. I want to be ready to leave. Please infinite spirit, provide us a way out of this.
this is my insides spilling out a month of pain and failure. I have to make this right for everyone.
