grey days

It has been grey the last couple days. Reminds me of my days in Portland. Usually, I am ok with it, but today has me feeling a little low. Feels strange. Tears want to fall and I am not sure why. I’m in a transition phase with many things and have been for a while. I am tired. My body is just exhausted today.  My new job is a bit depleting on my spirit and I think I just have to keep telling myself this is all temporary. Big things ahead… hold on to the vision. Do the little things that keep my spirit alive and going.

So today… I am honoring in the silence.

What do you do when feeling low?

ps. Conrad is having surgery on Tuesday. Please send him good thoughts. He is almost 13 and I don’t like putting old dogs under, but he needs this tumor off and thank you Mutt Scouts sooo much for raising half the funds for it. I am so forever grateful!

Also, Please send my Jack good thoughts I am so worried about him so much that I can’t sleep. I found two large hard masses by his pee pee and so he will go in to get checked the next week after Conrad. These silly ol’ dogs.

ps. what do you think of the paw print mobile? I made one for a friend and one for a donation package.

They make me happy.

pss. Remember Major? the horse who wouldn’t get on the trailer. After a long talk with him, some quiet time with his mom and some lovely calming herbs… he got on the bus and is enjoying his new home. Listen to your animals, loves. They just want to know you will be there for them. Always talk to them and explain things… never assume they understand, just like little kids they need to understand what is going on. My most favorite thing to read everyday is little tidbits from Kira. She is the most amazing animal communicator and helped me so much with Sally. I can’t wait to have her talk with my present pack and my girls that passed.

check her out: here

I saw this quote on a friends fb page. love it.

Let me tell you a story.

I was never the girl that boys wrote love songs for
never the girl that had the world yoyoed around her fingers,
never the girl that spent midnights on the beach
with red plastic cups in her hands

I was the girl that spent recess on the swings,
my palms stretched around chains that locked me to the earth
and swung me to the stars
I was the girl that hid behind four corners of a novel
because words have always been more patience than people
I was the girl that held the superpower of invisibility
behind the cloak of indifference

On my yearbook, they would write:
“You rock, don’t ever change.”

But how do you listen when you stare at your reflection in mirrors
and only see a paper crane falling apart at the seams?

I told myself what no one else would tell me,
I said,
“Your body is made of ivory bridges
beneath the pavement of skin,
You are the causeway to every destination
where you go and what you do is entirely up to you.”

I said,
“If you don’t like the route you’re taking,
the car you’re driving, the world you’re in,
you can change it.

If you don’t like you,
you can change it.

You want to be a writer, so let this life be your work of art.
You are the poet and the poem, the conductor and the orchestra.
Write your life like you would read it.
Remember that every line within you can be crossed out,
every noun not needed, every adjective all wrong.

Throw yourself down unexpected roads,
turn right when you want to go left.
Remember that it’s okay to take more than one route,
it’s okay to be more than one genre.

You’re allowed to sit down on park benches
reading Bukowski at midnight and stand up listening to Kayne.
You’re allowed to always wear black when your favorite color is pink.
You’re allowed to be a sonnet and also a country song.”

I told the girl filled with self-hate,
“It’s okay, this is only the first draft.”

—Kelsey Danielle, “First Draft”

Today’s card.

Wolf
Wolf can survive either as a loner or as part of a pack, and he howls to remind you that you have to balance the needs of others with the needs of the self. If you’re giving yourself away to your own detriment, you are living in opposition to Wolf medicine. Return to balance—and begin feeding your emotions, your mind, and your body.

Well, birds. Happy Lazy Dog Friday.