It is midnight and I should be in bed as tomorrow is a full day. But I can’t sleep… Many times do I look for my friend on facebook or anywhere – searching – always. I found her tonight. My arms and hands are shaking and my breath is gone. I found this musical lyricist who was always my white light for many years. Her wolf-spirit was always strong no matter what she went through and was even strong for me. After many years, I guess a parting had to happen. Transitions were taking place in both of us – spiritually, mentally and physically. I have missed her so and I constantly think of her. I constantly think of her musical poems and the times we spent in the coffee shop late at night writing and talking. I miss that part of my life. She opened my eyes to so many things…
I still sit here nervous. Do I write her? Would she want to hear from me after all these years? Could she forgive me?
Risk is hard, but I don’t want to miss out on a friendship that could be again. Her creative spirit is catching and her energy is calming and stimulating. She is where I want to be. Could it be that our friendship just needed time. Time for us to heal from our own chaos. Could it be that it was never supposed to really be an end? Will me meet again? Different this time for the journeys our feet have taken us have been far, but yet so many stories to tell. I want to know “her” now after all this growing time.
Does the risk outweigh the possibility of always wondering if it could be? Have I changed? Would she want to know this “me” that is still trying to find answers and the road home?
I miss my friend. Please forgive me. I’ve changed.
Click to hear my friend.
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage. –anais nin
