nature works in perfect harmony. Everything has seasons. Spring is the time of rebirth and renewal; summer, a time of maturing and bearing fruit; the fall, the harvest of all that’s been planted; and winter, the time of withdrawal and peace. When something reaches its winter, it cannot remain as it is. Its purpose is finished, the journey is complete. ~ the ant.
Animals have no concept of time. They only know the present and each day they live is a gift.
A gift with us.
I remember rescuing her at 3 months old in Nashville. An ornery little demon child who would make my arms bleed and almost drove me to insanity, but I refused to give up on her. I was 21 years old.
We traveled all over from Nashville to LA and so many in between. She hated traveling.
She was extremely sensitive to my spirit. So sensitive it was almost unsettling sometimes.
She was my heart beat and still is.
It was unexpected. I thought she would out live everyone. I wanted her to. I needed her to.
She was my rock. The girl I would talk to anything and everything about.
She was my shadow. Followed me everywhere at anytime – all the time.
Her smell would comfort me, her eyes would speak to me, her heart would calm me.
I can’t believe I had to make this choice for her, but she asked to go.
I feel lost. 12 1/2 years of having a best friend who never leaves your side and it feels empty.
Each day is another day I have to get through. But I have to be strong. I am still a mom.
I meditate. I smudge and I sit here in silence waiting to hear her.
She is close because I feel her calm, just as Millie and Phoebe are.
We are spirit first. These bodies are only borrowed and then we take the final dirt nap and that is just how it is.
I refuse to fall this time. I want her to be proud of me. I want to push to be better for her.
I will meditate more. I will listen to spirit more – so I can hear her.
because I still need her. I will always need her. My best friend.
I love you, Ansli… more than the moon.
The moment I die,
I will try to come back to you
as quickly as possible.
I promise it will not take long.
Isn’t it true
I am already with you,
As I die each moment
I come back to you in every moment.
Feel my presence.
If you want to cry,
And know that I will cry with you.
The tears you shed
Will heal us both.
Your tears are mine.
The earth I tread this morning
Spring and Winter are both present in the moment.
The young leaf and the dead leaf are really one.
My feet touch deathlessness,
And my feet are yours. Walk with me now.
Let us enter the dimension of oneness
And see the cherry tree blossom in Winter.
Why should we talk about death
I don’t need to die
To be back with you.
~Thich Nhat Hanh